Post by toweringniceguy on Sept 16, 2006 12:41:35 GMT 10
Always eat the dessert first. Never save any room for vegetables.
Approach anything green with extreme caution, except green ice cream, green jelly beans, green gum drops, etc.
Scatter peas all over the plate, and crush them with your fork. Spread them on the plate like butter. They will eventually dry out; you can almost make them disappear, except for a green stain.
If your hamburger or hotdog has ketchup, say you wanted mustard. If it has mustard, say you wanted ketchup.
Put a hole in your mashed potatos and fill it with gravy in the normal way. Then, widen the hole fill it with more gravy. Keep widening it until you have a large pool of gravy held by a thin wall of mashed potatos. Keep going as far as possible until the wall breaks, dramatically flooding the rest of your plate.
Build a pyramid of tator tots.
Never accept more than your fair proportion of vegetables. For example, you should never accept more beans than your older brother. Count the beans, and if you have one more than he does, insist that you are being treated unfairly. Of course, always demand that you get at least the same amount of dessert that he does, if not more.
Never eat brocolli. Always put it off as long as possible. Eventually your parents will get tired of waiting and go away, and you can hide it.
In restaurants, never miss the opportunity to blow the paper wrapper off a straw. Save the wrapper and do it again. For an even better result, smash the wrapper, insert it into the straw, and blow it out like a dart. Try to hit kids at other tables. You can always make more darts out of paper napkins.
And, above all, be sure to make a mess.
cheers!
Approach anything green with extreme caution, except green ice cream, green jelly beans, green gum drops, etc.
Scatter peas all over the plate, and crush them with your fork. Spread them on the plate like butter. They will eventually dry out; you can almost make them disappear, except for a green stain.
If your hamburger or hotdog has ketchup, say you wanted mustard. If it has mustard, say you wanted ketchup.
Put a hole in your mashed potatos and fill it with gravy in the normal way. Then, widen the hole fill it with more gravy. Keep widening it until you have a large pool of gravy held by a thin wall of mashed potatos. Keep going as far as possible until the wall breaks, dramatically flooding the rest of your plate.
Build a pyramid of tator tots.
Never accept more than your fair proportion of vegetables. For example, you should never accept more beans than your older brother. Count the beans, and if you have one more than he does, insist that you are being treated unfairly. Of course, always demand that you get at least the same amount of dessert that he does, if not more.
Never eat brocolli. Always put it off as long as possible. Eventually your parents will get tired of waiting and go away, and you can hide it.
In restaurants, never miss the opportunity to blow the paper wrapper off a straw. Save the wrapper and do it again. For an even better result, smash the wrapper, insert it into the straw, and blow it out like a dart. Try to hit kids at other tables. You can always make more darts out of paper napkins.
And, above all, be sure to make a mess.
cheers!
Chand meri zameen phool mera watan
SupremeSohni