Post by toweringniceguy on Nov 14, 2006 12:27:38 GMT 10
Take a pencil and paper," the teacher said, "and write an essay with the title 'If I Were a Millionaire' "
Everyone but Philip, who leaned back with arms folded, began to write furiously.
"What's the matter," the teacher asked. "Why don't you begin?"
"I'm waiting for my secretary," he replied.
Santa asks: Who r u?
Wife: How dare u forget ur wife?
Santa: Nasha har gam ko bhula deta hai
**********************************
Santa was busy in removing a wheel from auto, Banta asks: Y r u
removing a wheel from ur auto?
Santa: Can't u read 'Parking for two wheelers only'
**********************************
Santa: Doctor, ye phulon ki mala kis ke liye?
Doctor: Ye mera pehla operation hai, success hua to mere liye, nahi
to tumhare liye.
**********************************
Santa: Doc saab, mein Chashma laga ke parh to sakoonga?
Doc: Haan, bilkul.
Santa: To phir theek hai doc saab varna Anparh aadmi ki zindagi bhi
koi zindagi hai.
**********************************
Santa: Raat film main ek churail kabhi mere aage, khabhi mere peechhe
ghoom rahi thi...
Jeeto: Koun si film thi ?
Santa: Apni shaadi ki movie thi !
**********************************
Santa joined NASA. After one month the Americans had to change the
name from
NASA to SATYANASA
**********************************
Santa apni girl friend ko I Luv U kehta hai aur gir jata hai.
Gal: Yeh kya kar rahe ho?
Santa: I'm falling in love.
**********************************
Banta: Yeh chaaku kyon ubaal rahe ho?
Santa: Suicide karne ke liye
Banta: To phir ubalne kui kya zaroorat hai?
Santa: Kahin infection na ho jaaye
**********************************
Santa: Today is Sunday & I wanna njoy, so I bought 3 movie tickets
Jeeto: Why 3?
Santa: For you and your parents
**********************************
Museum Administrator: That's a 500-year-old statue u've broken.
Banta: Thanks God! I thought it was a new one.
**********************************
Lady Doc: Tum roz subah clinic ke bahar khare ho kar auraton ko kyon
ghoorte ho?
Santa: Ji aap hi ne bahar likha hai: Auraton ko dekhne ka samay
9am-11am
**********************************
A man to Santa: Aao ji chess khelein
Santa: Tu chal mein sports shoes pehen kar aaya.
**********************************
At the scene of an accident a man was crying: O God! I have lost my
hand, oh!
Santa: Control yourself. Don't cry. See that man. He has lost his
head. Is he crying?
**********************************
In an interview,
Interviewer: How does an electric motor run?
Santa: Dhhuuuurrrrrrrrrr.....
Inteviewer shouts: Stop it.
Santa: Dhhuurrrr dhup dhup dhup...
**********************************
Santa was getting bitten by mosquitoes the whole night. He got
irritated...
drank poison & said,
Ab kaato saalon, sab maroge!
**********************************
Captain of Military: Naujawanon aage barho Santa aage nahin barhaa
Captain: Tum aage kyun nahin barhe?
Santa: Apne kaha 9 jawanon aage barhoo, mein 10ve number pe tha
**********************************
Banta: Yaar teri wife ki maut ka bara afsos hua, vaise hua kya tha?
Santa: Goli lagi thi mathe main.
Banta: Waheguru ji ka shukar kar ke aankh bach gayi.
**********************************
Santa apni khoobsurat Bibi k saath car mein baitha. Driver ne sheesha
set kiya.
Santa gusse mein bola, meri bibi ko dekhkta hai, piche baith,
car mein chalaoonga!
********************************** .
Banta: U cheated me.
Shopkeeper: No, I sold a good radio to u.
Banta: Radio label shows Made in Japan but radio says This is all
India Radio!
**********************************
Sadhu: Bachcha teri biwi ko churail chipak gayee hai. Upaaye
karvaao.
Banta: Upayaye? Baba, agar do behenein gale mil rahi hain to is mein
harj hi kya hai ?
**********************************
Tourist: Whose skeleton is that?
Santa: Tipu's skeleton.
Tourist: Whose that smaller skeleton next to it?
Santa: That was Tipu's skeleton when he was child
**********************************
Napoleon: There is no such word as 'Impossible' in my dictionary.
Santa: To dictionary dekh kar kharidni thi ...!
**********************************
Santa: Agar tumhe kuch ho gaya to mein Pagal ho jaaunga.
Jeeto: Doosri shaadi to nahin karogey?
Santa: Pagal ka kya hai, kuch bhi kar sakta hai
**********************************
Banta: Yeh AUTOMATICALLY kya hota hai?
Santa: Oye tujhe yeh bhi nahin pata, Jab auto mein koi ganji ladki ja
rahi ho to use kehte hain AUTO-ME-TAKLI
**********************************
Banta: Oye, tu to Doctor ke paas jaane waala tha, kya hua?
Santa: Yaar kal jaaonga, aaj thodi tabiyat kharab hai.
**********************************
Santa: Itne kam marks? Do thapparr marne chahiye.
Pappu: Haan papa, chalo maine us saale master ka ghar bhi dekh rakha
hai.
**********************************
Santa went to battery shop n asked to change battery.
The shopkeeper asked: Exide laga du?
Santa: Dusri side tera baap lagayega kya?
**********************************
Q: Why did Santa take his pregnant wife Jeeto to Pizza Hut? A:
Because they advertised: 'Free Delivery'
Everyone but Philip, who leaned back with arms folded, began to write furiously.
"What's the matter," the teacher asked. "Why don't you begin?"
"I'm waiting for my secretary," he replied.
Santa asks: Who r u?
Wife: How dare u forget ur wife?
Santa: Nasha har gam ko bhula deta hai
**********************************
Santa was busy in removing a wheel from auto, Banta asks: Y r u
removing a wheel from ur auto?
Santa: Can't u read 'Parking for two wheelers only'
**********************************
Santa: Doctor, ye phulon ki mala kis ke liye?
Doctor: Ye mera pehla operation hai, success hua to mere liye, nahi
to tumhare liye.
**********************************
Santa: Doc saab, mein Chashma laga ke parh to sakoonga?
Doc: Haan, bilkul.
Santa: To phir theek hai doc saab varna Anparh aadmi ki zindagi bhi
koi zindagi hai.
**********************************
Santa: Raat film main ek churail kabhi mere aage, khabhi mere peechhe
ghoom rahi thi...
Jeeto: Koun si film thi ?
Santa: Apni shaadi ki movie thi !
**********************************
Santa joined NASA. After one month the Americans had to change the
name from
NASA to SATYANASA
**********************************
Santa apni girl friend ko I Luv U kehta hai aur gir jata hai.
Gal: Yeh kya kar rahe ho?
Santa: I'm falling in love.
**********************************
Banta: Yeh chaaku kyon ubaal rahe ho?
Santa: Suicide karne ke liye
Banta: To phir ubalne kui kya zaroorat hai?
Santa: Kahin infection na ho jaaye
**********************************
Santa: Today is Sunday & I wanna njoy, so I bought 3 movie tickets
Jeeto: Why 3?
Santa: For you and your parents
**********************************
Museum Administrator: That's a 500-year-old statue u've broken.
Banta: Thanks God! I thought it was a new one.
**********************************
Lady Doc: Tum roz subah clinic ke bahar khare ho kar auraton ko kyon
ghoorte ho?
Santa: Ji aap hi ne bahar likha hai: Auraton ko dekhne ka samay
9am-11am
**********************************
A man to Santa: Aao ji chess khelein
Santa: Tu chal mein sports shoes pehen kar aaya.
**********************************
At the scene of an accident a man was crying: O God! I have lost my
hand, oh!
Santa: Control yourself. Don't cry. See that man. He has lost his
head. Is he crying?
**********************************
In an interview,
Interviewer: How does an electric motor run?
Santa: Dhhuuuurrrrrrrrrr.....
Inteviewer shouts: Stop it.
Santa: Dhhuurrrr dhup dhup dhup...
**********************************
Santa was getting bitten by mosquitoes the whole night. He got
irritated...
drank poison & said,
Ab kaato saalon, sab maroge!
**********************************
Captain of Military: Naujawanon aage barho Santa aage nahin barhaa
Captain: Tum aage kyun nahin barhe?
Santa: Apne kaha 9 jawanon aage barhoo, mein 10ve number pe tha
**********************************
Banta: Yaar teri wife ki maut ka bara afsos hua, vaise hua kya tha?
Santa: Goli lagi thi mathe main.
Banta: Waheguru ji ka shukar kar ke aankh bach gayi.
**********************************
Santa apni khoobsurat Bibi k saath car mein baitha. Driver ne sheesha
set kiya.
Santa gusse mein bola, meri bibi ko dekhkta hai, piche baith,
car mein chalaoonga!
********************************** .
Banta: U cheated me.
Shopkeeper: No, I sold a good radio to u.
Banta: Radio label shows Made in Japan but radio says This is all
India Radio!
**********************************
Sadhu: Bachcha teri biwi ko churail chipak gayee hai. Upaaye
karvaao.
Banta: Upayaye? Baba, agar do behenein gale mil rahi hain to is mein
harj hi kya hai ?
**********************************
Tourist: Whose skeleton is that?
Santa: Tipu's skeleton.
Tourist: Whose that smaller skeleton next to it?
Santa: That was Tipu's skeleton when he was child
**********************************
Napoleon: There is no such word as 'Impossible' in my dictionary.
Santa: To dictionary dekh kar kharidni thi ...!
**********************************
Santa: Agar tumhe kuch ho gaya to mein Pagal ho jaaunga.
Jeeto: Doosri shaadi to nahin karogey?
Santa: Pagal ka kya hai, kuch bhi kar sakta hai
**********************************
Banta: Yeh AUTOMATICALLY kya hota hai?
Santa: Oye tujhe yeh bhi nahin pata, Jab auto mein koi ganji ladki ja
rahi ho to use kehte hain AUTO-ME-TAKLI
**********************************
Banta: Oye, tu to Doctor ke paas jaane waala tha, kya hua?
Santa: Yaar kal jaaonga, aaj thodi tabiyat kharab hai.
**********************************
Santa: Itne kam marks? Do thapparr marne chahiye.
Pappu: Haan papa, chalo maine us saale master ka ghar bhi dekh rakha
hai.
**********************************
Santa went to battery shop n asked to change battery.
The shopkeeper asked: Exide laga du?
Santa: Dusri side tera baap lagayega kya?
**********************************
Q: Why did Santa take his pregnant wife Jeeto to Pizza Hut? A:
Because they advertised: 'Free Delivery'
SupremeSohni
Chand meri zameen phool mera watan
