Jokes

[toweringniceguy]

Three things come to mind from St. Stephens College, New Delhi in indai.

1. Step-Hens college!

2. One of the things fatchhas in Hindu College were made to say during ragging:
"Stephens girao, Mandir Banao."

3. Wilson Public School....?? (BTW. Stephen's princi was Anil Wilson).




An elderly Punjabi admitted to the intensive care department of a hospital requested that he take lessons in French. The doctor was puzzled and asked him why.

"Well, French is the language of heaven," he sighed. "I want to be able to communicate with everyone in heaven if I die."

"But how are you so sure that you will end up in heaven? You might go to hell. What good will French do you then?" asked the doctor.

"That will no problem. I am fluent in Punjabi."




The maharajah of an Indian Province issued a royal decree. He ordered that no one was to kill any wild animals while he was the country's leader.

The decree was honored until there were so many Bengal Tigers running loose that the people revolted and threw the maharajah from power.

This is the first known instance of the reign being called on account of the game





One day a multi billionaire was board, so he asked his butler to get him 3 men.

A few hours later the butler comes back. The man says "OK I've a deal you can't refuse. Who can swim successfully across this pool filed with sharks, eels, and leaches. The winner may have whatever his heat desires."

No one replies so the man gives up.

All of a sudden the man hears a splash. One of the men is swimming as fast as he can, dodging all the sharks, eels, and leaches.

The billionaire was so impressed that someone had enough guts take up his challenge. He congratulates the man and asks him what he wants.

The man replies "I want theat idiot who pushed me in"






One day a rich man saw a poor family eating grass in the field. He stopped and invited them to his house.

They thanked him so much, they even kissed his feet.
The man replied: "Don't worry, the grass in my garden is over a metre long!"





Wife: You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why?

Darling : When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.

Wife: You see, how miraculous and powerful I am for you?

Darling : Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, "What other problem Can there be greater than this one?





Bush was walking with his dog. Osama asked why are you walking with a donkey.

Bush angrily replied stupid it is not a donkey it is a dog.

Osama very politely replied iam not asking you Iam asking the Dog.......





A disappointed salesman of Coca Cola returns from his Middle East assignment. A friend asked Why werent you successful with the Arabs?
The salesman explained When I got posted in the Middle East I was very confident that I will makes a good sales pitch as Cola is virtually unknown there. But I had a problem I didnt know to speak Arabic. So I planned to convey the message through 3 posters...
First poster a man crawling through the hot desert sand... totally exhausted and panting.
Second the man is drinking our Cola and Third our man is now totally refreshed. Then these posters were
pasted all over the place
That should have worked said the friend. The salesman replied Well not only did I not speak Arabic
I also didnt realize that Arabs read from right to left...





Smith goes to see his supervisor in the front office. "Boss," he says, "we're doing some heavy house-cleaning at home tomorrow, and my wife needs me to help with the attic and the garage, moving and hauling stuff."

"We're short-handed, Smith" the boss replies. "I can't give you the day off."

"Thanks, boss," says Smith "I knew I could count on you!"

[SupremeSohni]

[zee]

[prettyss0]

kooooool

[Lovely]